Reflections in the Mirror: A Journey Back to Identity

Rediscovering the Woman God Made Me to Be

There is a song called ‘Reflection’ by Christina Aguilera. A verse of that song always stood out to me that says, “Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me, why is my reflection someone I don’t know?” I remember belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs. Even at the age of sixteen, I felt the weight of the words of that song. I knew what it was to look in the mirror, and to see a stranger staring back at me, a woman I didn’t recognize. A woman who wore the marks of a chameleon, someone who had spent years shedding herself to blend into the expectations of others. Somewhere along the way, I had lost who I was. I had forgotten the woman God created me to be because I had been so consumed with trying to reflect others.

As a child, I yearned for my mother’s love, a love that always seemed out of reach. She was harsh with me, far harsher than she was with my brothers, and I carried the pain of her words and actions like a wound that never healed. I believed that if I could just *be like her*, maybe she would finally see me, finally love me. So, I dressed in her clothes, slipped into her shoes, trying to mold myself into the image of the woman who withheld her affection. But no matter how much I looked like her, it was never enough to make her love me the way I needed.

As I grew older, the mirror became a reflection of the world’s desires instead of God’s truth. Men objectified me, and I began to shape myself into what they wanted. I wore what they wanted to see, spoke how they wanted to hear, and became who they wanted me to be. Each passing year, a piece of my identity fell away, traded for the fleeting validation of their attention. The more they desired me, the more I despised the woman in the mirror.

Then came a relationship that defined a decade of my life, ten years of abuse, physical, emotional, and verbal. Yet, even in that brokenness, I tried to create an identity that wasn’t mine to claim. I wore diamond rings and wedding bands, and lived as a ‘wife.’ I took on a surname that didn’t belong to me, and lived as though I were someone’s wife because I longed for stability and worth. My reflection became a distortion, no longer bearing the image of my Savior, the One to whom I had once given my life as a young girl.

But God, in His unrelenting love, refused to leave me in that place. He began to pull back the veils, layer by layer, restoring the truth of who I am. It wasn’t a sudden shift, but it was a process. First, He led me to confront the lies I had believed for so long, lies that told me my worth depended on others. Then, He brought me back to His Word, where I rediscovered the truth: I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am chosen. I am loved. Not because of how I look, but because of who He is.

Through the stillness of prayer, I began to see myself the way He sees me, not through the lens of my failures or others’ opinions, but through the lens of grace. The woman in the mirror began to change. She no longer carried the weight of trying to please everyone else. She began to reflect holiness, truth, and love, the image of her Creator.

Daughters of Fire, this journey has not been easy. The stripping away of false identities felt like tearing down walls I had built for decades. But with each tear, God replaced the brokenness with beauty. He taught me that my worth is not defined by a mother’s neglect or a man’s desire. My worth is found in Him alone.

Now, when I look in the mirror, I see someone new. I see a woman who is learning to walk in the identity given to her by God, not the world. I see someone who is no longer bound by the need to please others but is free to live in the purpose and calling He has set before her. I see someone being made whole, piece by piece, step by step.

Daughters of Fire, if you have ever felt lost, if you have ever stared into the mirror and not recognized the person looking back, I want you to know this: God is the ultimate Restorer. He is the One who shapes, molds, and defines us in ways the world never can. Let Him show you who you are meant to be. Let Him remind you that you are His, and in His hands, there is no reflection more beautiful. I love you, but Jesus loves you best!